Parent-Teen Conflicts: A Stage for Growth or a Path to Disconnection?
Actor Ahn Jae-mo opened up about parenting challenges on MBN’s show “Let’s Go GO4,” shedding light on his complicated relationship with his teenage daughter. He shared, with a smile that barely masked his frustration, that she’s typically cold and distant — except when she needs money. Then, suddenly, she’s sweet as pie.
While some parents might laugh this off, others know the sting it leaves all too well. Ahn’s experience resonates with many families navigating adolescence, when children start pushing for independence but still rely emotionally — and often financially — on their parents. The love between parent and child doesn’t disappear, but it can become less visible, buried beneath eye-rolls and slamming doors.
Why This Relationship Matters
The bond between parents and their children is more than just sentimental — it’s foundational. Numerous studies cite that strong parent-child relationships improve children's emotional wellbeing, social skills, and self-identity. But adolescence is also when those relationships are most tested.
In modern American households, parents might work long hours, and teens often escape into their screens. This creates emotional distance, even when they’re under the same roof. Mutual respect and communication become essential but sometimes feel harder than they should be.
Puberty brings hormones, peer pressure, and identity crises — all of which challenge even the most patient parent. Add to that the natural teenage push for independence, and it’s no wonder families often feel like they’re walking on eggshells around each other.
What Can Go Right
It’s not all bad news. Research by the American Psychological Association shows that when parents actively listen to and support their teens, it not only lowers teen stress but actually boosts their confidence. Teens are more likely to reach out, share problems, and ask for guidance when they feel safe.
In this sense, Ahn Jae-mo’s acknowledgment of feeling hurt — but still trying to understand his daughter — is a powerful first step. It shows vulnerability, which can invite conversation. Instead of shutting down, he seems open to growth alongside his child, not just as a parent, but as a person.
Parents who model respectful conversations and emotional expression give their children important life tools. Whether it’s handling conflict calmly or asking for help when unsure, these behaviors are often first learned at home.
What Can Go Wrong
On the flip side, too much interference or pressure can backfire. When kids feel micromanaged or judged, it stifles their autonomy (decision-making freedom) and can cause resentment. Teens might perform well academically but feel emotionally empty or misunderstood.
In Ahn’s case, his daughter being affectionate only when she wants money underscores a deeper issue. If unmet expectations are always tied to rewards or punishments — whether it’s grades, chores, or affection — then the relationship risks turning transactional. Over time, this dynamic can hurt trust.
Today’s world doesn’t make parenting easier. The rapid pace of social change can leave parents and teens navigating two different realities. Finding agreement isn’t always possible, but building a bridge of understanding — even if shaky at first — is worth trying.
How to Move Forward
Parent-child relationships aren’t just built on love — they're shaped daily through how we argue, when we listen, and whether we try (even awkwardly) to understand each other. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s connection.
Instead of focusing only on behavior (like a teen’s sarcasm or defiance), it helps to ask what emotions lie underneath. Is it pressure from friends? Anxiety about fitting in? The answer may not always come easily, but the way a parent asks — calmly and without judgment — can keep the door open.
Ahn’s story reminds us that even small, awkward conversations can make a big difference over time. What matters is the willingness to keep showing up — especially when it’s hard. Mutual respect, patience, and honest dialogue are the secret ingredients to transforming teenage tension into lifelong trust.
